Do These Things Before Telling Your Child About Your Divorce
August 9, 2017
If you and your spouse decide to move forward with the divorce process, it's important that you do so in a responsible manner.
In the event that you have a child together, you'll need to discuss this with him or her at some point (as long as they are old enough to know what is happening).
While there is nothing easy about discussing divorce with your child, there are some steps you can take to plan for this:
- Write out what you want to say. This is one of the most important things you can do, as it will help keep the conversation on track from start to finish.
- Pick the right time and place. You don't want to have this conversation on a whim. Instead, schedule a time and place that makes sense for you, your child and your spouse (if he or she will be present).
- Think like your child. Forget about thinking like an adult for the time being. You should put yourself in your child's shoes, as this can help you formulate a better strategy.
- Answer every question. Your child is sure to have questions, so make sure you do whatever it takes to provide an answer. It's not always easy to answer questions during this time, but you need to do so if you want to help your child process what is going on.
- Be honest. This is not a time to lie to your child. Be open and honest as to what is going on.
These are just a few of the many things you can do before telling your child about divorce , as well as when you are in the midst of the conversation.
Remember this: Your marriage may be over, but you still want to do what is best for your child. If your ex-spouse attempts to stop you from doing just that, you will need to consider your legal options. You don't want your relationship with your child to die.
The "burning bed" defense would forever change the way domestic violence was viewed. A legal strategy served as a catalyst for all legislation regarding domestic abuse. Equally as important, it would also establish the way law enforcement approaches the criminal act. Francine Wilson went to trial for killing her abusive husband in a landmark spousal abuse case that became the subject of a book and television movie, "The Burning Bed." Wilson passed away on March 22 of complications from pneumonia at the age of 69. In 1977, Wilson, whose last name was then Hughes, took the life of her husband, James "Mickey" Hughes, in 1977 by setting fire to their bed while he slept. Her testimony at trial painted a grim picture of the horrors she endured at the hands of her husband. Arjen Greydanus, Wilson's defense attorney, said that the account she gave the jury was effective in her being found not guilty due to temporary insanity. At the time, temporary insanity was not a recognized defense. Greydanus was certain that a traditional self-defense approach would not have resulted in a not-guilty verdict. The case captured the attention of the nation. Wilson's story became the subject of a book and a 1984 TV movie "The Burning Bed" starring Farrah Fawcett. Greydanus' legal "hook" became well known as the "burning-bed" defense. Jim Hughes, Wilson's son, recalled the bad times that outweighed the good. As a child, he could only watch as the police showed up at the family home, only to leave without doing anything. His mom would be battered and bloody after his father threatened her life. He also recalled that after the trial, book and movie, his mother was ready to put it all behind her. She considered that chapter of her life over. Wilson would eventually remarry and move to Tennessee before settling in Alabama, working as a licensed practical nurse.
There is no way to be 100 percent prepared for the divorce process. Even if you have a solid grasp of what this will entail, there are sure to be challenges along the way. There are many things you can do to prepare for divorce, which can help you make the right decisions as the process moves forward. Here are some of the top steps to take : Get professional help. There are many types of professionals who can assist you during this difficult time, ranging from an attorney to a tax professional. Review your finances. You need to know where you stand with respect to your finances. This includes everything from the amount of money you earn to how much debt you are carrying. Open your own accounts. Now that your marriage is just about over, you need to open your own accounts. This can include a bank account, retirement account and credit cards, among others. Make changes to your estate plan. This is one of the most overlooked things that you can do to prepare for divorce. Your estate plan will need some adjustments now that you will be single in the near future. Along with this, you need to prepare for what the future could bring with respect to your children (if you have any). Address questions such as: Where will your children live? How will you ensure that you remain a big part of their life? Will you owe child support? Are you in position to receive child support? Answering these questions will give you a clear idea of what to expect down the road. It is hard to prepare for divorce , as you don't know what will happen as the weeks and months go by. Even so, you should do whatever you can to put yourself on the right track. This will improve the likelihood of a smooth and efficient process.
Understanding the types of domestic violence in California can help you determine if you are a victim of this form of abuse. While most people recognize that physical abuse is not okay, there are other forms that are less common, but just as destructive. We at the Law Office of Steven Medearis have outlined some types that are not as well-known so that you can get help if you are caught in a dangerous relationship. According to American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, your partner can actually commit spiritual abuse by controlling your family's religious preferences. If he or she ridicules you, prevents you from practicing or forces beliefs that you do not agree with onto your children, this is considered spiritual abuse. Manipulating you with spiritual beliefs is also wrong. Other forms of abuse can concern your economic or financial situation. If your partner demands that you choose a certain occupation or prevents you from working altogether, you may be experiencing this type of abuse. This can also happen if your partner withholds shelter, clothes, food or other physical resources from you as punishment or an incentive. Other more obvious forms of financial abuse are stealing or withholding money. Many people do not realize that their partner can be charged with stalking, but certain actions are illegal, even within a marriage. If your spouse unexpectedly shows up at your work to check on you, goes through your garbage, repeatedly calls you or tries to get information about you from your family members or friends, this can be considered stalking. For more information on domestic violence, please visit our web page.
California parents who are splitting up will have to deal with issues of child custody. If you're going into a custody battle, you'll need to know what sort of factors can determine who is awarded primary custody, and what might be a strike against you if you're trying to win it. The Spruce lists out a number of different factors that courts take into consideration when determining how to deal with child custody . Some are obvious factors, such as whether or not you have a criminal history or any felonies on your record. Your physical and mental health will also be taken into consideration, as there are some situations in which one parent may not be considered fit to raise a child on their own by the courts. The interpersonal relationships in your family will also likely be scrutinized. For example, how well you and your ex-spouse can get along will be examined. Your closeness with the child in question may be looked at as well. Consistency and provisional capabilities are also big factors. For example, if you were taking care of your child for the majority of your relationship, the judge may vote for this to continue for the sake of normalcy. If you have the ability to financially provide for your child in a better way than your ex-spouse, this may also be considered. In the end, no two cases of child custody are determined in the same way. It's all up to your unique dynamic as a family, and your relationships with one another.
